Spoiler alert: He's cute.
Here we go!
Thursday, May 24th, I went to bed, and woke up at about 1:00 a.m. to notable contractions. They continued on and off until breakfast Friday morning around 7:00.
Friday May 25th, 9:30: I had an appointment with Heather, my midwife, who recommended going to the chiropractor.
12:30: Went to the Chiropractor and got everything aligned.
2:30ish Took a nap and contractions started up again.
4:00 Went with Anthony and Esther to pick up the boys from school, so we could head to dinner to eat something spicy as a tasty consolation prize for not having the baby yet. Contractions were frequent enough I started to wonder if it was a mistake to go down-town.
Got to Ann Arbor and were enjoying some graffiti, when some fancy hipster guy with a white suit and twirly mustache offered to take our picture. He thought the kids' matching tie dye was pretty groovy.
Had to relax through some contractions and ate some deliciousness Shalamar.
Topped it off with some ice cream at Kilwin's. I didn't eat very much at Shalamar, and didn't order ice cream...so was suspecting that these contractions were the real deal. Many were about 5 minutes apart. All three of the kids ordered "blue moon" so we laughed at the possible impromptu gender reveal party. There were plenty of pink flavors that no one chose.
We got home and Ant put the kids down for bed. At 9:45 contractions were about 10 minutes apart and ranging in levels of intensity. I lost the mucus plug about this time.
Contractions continued to increase in intensity and frequency. We headed to bed around 11 p.m. and from what I remember Anthony got about an hour and a half sleep tops. Contractions were about 4 1/2 minutes apart by this point.
May 26th 3ish a.m. Contractions were getting more intense and about 3 minutes apart, lasting about 90 seconds. We called Heather, our midwife, around 3:30. She assumed things were serious, and was staying close by (closer than Detroit where she lives), and got there before 4:00.
This was a pretty good position. The heat pad was heaven.
The affirmation and encouraging signs my friends made cheered me along the way. Instead of a baby shower, I had an affirmation shower. :)
Morning time, the kids came in to help coach me through a few contractions.
7:00 am I was 6-7 cm dilated and stretchy. 90% effaced, and zero station
7:22 I was in the shower and felt like squatting, and when I squatted I felt like pushing. When I got out though, I didn't really feel like pushing any more. I wasn't sure what my body was trying to tell me. Talking to Heather about it I started to cry and she said something like, "This sounds like it could be transition." Which was so true! This encouraged me, and I got in the tub.
Filling the tub
The water was amazing! Anthony was an incredible coach, and having the kids around was really beautiful. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it, but having our friend Christina there to watch the kids meant that they could play outside or in other parts of the house most of the time, but come and check on me when they felt like it. When they did, it made me feel really loved and happy to have their little hands helping me out. I continued to push on and off. My body continued to send pretty confusing signals.
10:58 I was 7 cm dilated, 70% effaced and swollen.
This was the hardest part for me. Sometime around 11:00 I got out of the tub because I felt like some gravity would help, but because I wasn't dilating, Heather and Jahmanna (the assistant midwife) felt like getting the baby's head of my cervix would help, to prevent more swelling. They also asked me to stop trying to push, so that the cervix could dilate on it's own without any swelling, which would prevent progress. It was reminiscent of Esther's frustrating last 2 hours of birth, and felt really terrible. It was really uncomfortable to not push, but it also didn't feel great to push. Nothing felt good. From the notes I was only in Knee to Chest position for about 20 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I was dry heaving on and off, not pushing, then pushing. I tried side lying for another 20 minutes, which also didn't feel great.
1:00 I tried not to push while hanging on Anthony and lunging.
1:33 Cervical exam: Heather said the cervix easily slips over baby's head while I push.
Eventually I got back in the tub, and as much as I tried not to push, no one protested too much when I just went for it. It was about this time, instead of definite contractions, it felt like one plateaued, not crazy intense contraction. I was just trying my best to tune into my body. Heather had me feel the descent of the baby, so I could give everyone an update. Because I could only feel about a quarter sized part of the head, I was pretty discouraged. And it was high up, about 2 1/2 knuckles. But I could feel baby descending finally and gradually, which was a little encouraging. Finally baby was about one knuckle length away, and that stretchy, burny, "ring of fire" sensation began. This was actually truly encouraging. I knew that feeling, and I knew what it meant. I kept trying to listen to my body so that I could push with contractions. But they were still acting funky.
2:20: Heather wrote "head showing with pushing." Soon after this I felt the baby crown and asked someone to ring the bell so the kids could come in from playing outside. I knew especially Eliot and Esther would be really mad if they missed the big moment. Apparently when Heather rang the bell, all the neighborhood kids came running as well. Haha!
2:30 Heather recorded "Head" in her notes. Yipee! At this point, I was surprised the rest of the body wasn't coming out with more ease. Baby paused after the shoulders emerged. So with one last contraction and insanely hard push (I watched the video), I grabbed him and pulled him out. Jahmanna said, "wait wait wait wait..." I guess pulling your baby out like that can cause a tear. So...maybe don't do that if you have the chance. But the good news is, I didn't tear! Yay!
2:31 "Body." Baby's head was pretty dark purple, and his body really white. He was limp and quitet so the first thing I said was, "Baby, are you alive?" This isn't because of his coloring so much as the fact that I had a miscarriage January 2017, and have been a little on edge this entire pregnancy. Finally...
2:32 "Cry" And that's when I checked the gender. It's a boy!
Unflattering pic of me but you wouldn't look great after 7 hours of pushing either. ;) But look at Esther! She's been waiting so long for this day.
During our little family birth classes, Ira was usually on the fence when we asked him if he'd want to be present for the birth. This was another nice thing about being home. He had complete control over how much he saw, and could call the shots as things progressed.
Dad skin to skin time.
Esther looks like she wants in on the shirtless skin action. She's been asking me every day for months when the baby would get here.
Eliot's also been looking forward to this day. The fact that baby came on a Saturday, during the day, was ideal. Eliot was afraid he might be in school, or maybe asleep when I'd give birth. "Mom, if I'm asleep, you'll be sure to wake me up for when the baby is born, right??"
Christina was a life saver! She watched the kids for 6-7 hours, to make not only their experience, but mine, the perfect balance of kid involvement.
Saying bye to Heather and Jahmanna after I took a refreshing shower.
So grateful for these amazing women!
Every stomach sleeper who's been pregnant knows the joy of sleeping on your stomach again for the first time after birth. Since I hadn't really slept for 2 nights, I turned in before sunset.
Goodnight Robin.
Sunday Morning
The kids checked on Robin as soon as they got home from church.
Peanut Butter ice cream birthday cake
Ira loves whispering sweetness to Robin. "I love you baby! Do you know how much I love you?"
I'm here!
Hearing screening a couple days later after the birth.
Robin with a balloon
Glad to see his immune system is surviving the sibling exposure.
Anthony has a new job that doesn't give paternity leave. So he used a week of vacation to take care of the family from home. We was amazing, bringing me 3 meals a day in bed and making sure I could recover without stress.
Our first outing with Robin to go get his birth certificate at about 10 days old.
The second week, Anthony's parents, Paul and Valine came to help out. We loved having them here!
This is when they had to head back home.
Robin 8 days old
Ira reenacting a photo of him dying for a turn to hold...
...baby Esther back in 2015.
Flashback to 2012, when Ira didn't have to share baby Eliot with anyone
Flashback to Ira in 2010
Wow, I guess our babies really do look similar.
Flashback to me in 1983. I need to find one of Ant to compare.
On Robin's name: To understand, I have to take you back to January 2017. I was about 9 weeks pregnant and had a miscarriage. We waited a few months to try again, and then got pregnant in August. Right around 7 weeks, I started spotting. This is how the miscarriage began in January, so I shrugged it off, until I realized it was continuing throughout the entire day. I asked for a blessing while at church, and instead of receiving a blessing that the pregnancy would go well, I received one that I'd have strength and good recovery through the miscarriage! What? I went home and through prayer, came to the conclusion that it was not contrary to faith to continue to to ask that things would go well for a healthy pregnancy. I prayed for it, but still accepted that anything could happen, and that this pregnancy might result in another miscarriage. Spotting went away, then happened again for a few days, stopped, then happened again.
January 27th, 2018, the exact same calendar weekend from the year before, and coincidentally the same day I was throwing Ira's birthday party again, I started spotting, but this time with cramping. The cramping happened again the next night...then went away.
This was me, the day I thought another miscarriage was happening.
Let's just say, I've been on edge. And as I mentioned before my first words to this baby were, "Are you alive?"
If you're not familiar with the concept of a "rainbow baby," it's a baby that follows a tragic loss, like a stillbirth, or miscarriage.
I didn't want to name our baby Rainbow, but played around with variations of "Hope." But Robin's been on our list of possibilities in past pregnancies. And then there were some fun coincidences. Our midwife was Heather Robinson. And during the morning of baby's birth, she looked out our kitchen window and said, "Oh! Do you guys know that you have a robin's nest just outside the window?" We've been trying to keep our distance, so they'd feel safe, but from what we can tell, the mama robin laid her eggs the day of, or a couple days after our birth. And coincidentally, she also had 4 babies.
I realized once Robin arrived, how much it felt like the first sign of Spring after a long Winter of uncertainty. His little life still feels fragile, but I can set up the nursery with confidence now. I can bring baby things up from the basement, without wondering if they'll really be needed. The uncertainty lasted for a couple days. I just felt like something must be wrong, that a healthy arrival was maybe to good to be true. "His forehead is a little short. Does he have microcephaly? His eyes might be a little far apart. Let me stay up for an extra hour or two researching different chromosomal disorders that might be related." Fortunately, on about the 3rd or 4th day when Heather visited again, she was able to reassure me that little Robin was healthy and that there were no red flags...or even yellow flags that anything was wrong.
So welcome to the world Robin Ellsworth Quinn. We're grateful you're here.
These photos are by my friend Trae Bohlen :)
http://www.photographybytrae.com/
